A list from July:

1) Santa is a son of a bitch. He's probably holed up in Missouri.
2) People need to stop talking about unicorns.  
3) If a man get's drunk and feels better about life, does that make him a hobbit?
4) Why would a thoughtful person run for mayor?
5) Should I water my fern with the bird nest in it?
6) Mammals are not fish (see: Taijii, Japan; The Cove).
7) Why do people not go outside anymore?
8) The Oregon home depot ran out of air conditioners.
9) Some rocks float.
10) The customs guard in Istanbul had no idea why I had an old horn in my suitcase.
11) Swine flu is worse than it sounds.
12) Charlotte customs agent Irving wanted to know why I went to Cambodia. Alone.
14) I am 34 and I believe in ghosts.
15) Someone wrecked in to my truck with a tight gut shirt and red sunglasses.
15 1/2) Someone stole my truck with the hide-a-key
16) Alaska is much farther than you think.
17) El Paso is terrible.
18) Juarez is the end of a flat earth.
19) No where is enough and
20) Ed Abbey, where are you now?